When you are single, friendships are easy. You meet people at work, social activities, parties, whatever. You talk. You get a sense for if you get along alright or not. You hang out. So long as you and the other person have more good times than bad, you continue to hang out. Friendships develop. It’s so simple.
Then you get married... Think of all the people that you don’t like in the world. Now imagine you meet someone that you do like, but they are joined in a covenant with someone that you now also must like and your spouse must like both of them as well. It went from two people being compatible and capable of hanging out to having four people all having to like each other. Since I only like a small fraction of the population, it gets very hard for me to get along with two people who seem randomly assigned to each other.
In our years together, there have been plenty of times when I like him and she didn’t like her. Or she liked her but I didn’t like him. Friendships fizzle out whenever this happens. On top of that, as semi-new parents, we have so much less free time we don’t meet as many people as we used to. The worst part of marriage is that finding “couple friends” is that it is exponentially more difficult than developing friendships when we were single.
This all brings me back to the Xbox Christmas Party of 2005. It was hands down the best corporate party I have ever been to. It was held at the Showbox in downtown Seattle and the entertainment featured DJ AM and the Presidents of the United States of America. The beer and liquor flowed copiously and girls in high heels and short dresses walked out and vomited in the streets one after the other. It was awesome.
Sometimes these parties can suck as I get stuck trying desperately to make small talk with someone I don’t know, like, or will never see again. I am the fish out of water and Julie does her best to include me, but she’s surrounded by people she knows. I do my best not to be offensive and hope for it to end. Not this time though... Julie’s work friend, Debbie, had just joined the company. I was enjoying myself when I met her husband, Jason. Jason is a giant of a man who makes me look petite. He has a pure joy that emanates from him and within seconds of meeting him, I knew that I liked him in a very heterosexual and bromantic sort of way.
We were standing at the bar and it was like we underwent a Vulcan mind meld. As we were both about to order a beverage, our eyes simultaneously scanned the liquor selection on display. We both locked in on a bottle of Patron and said (so the legend goes), “Patron margaritas!” at exactly the same time. I had two or twenty, listened to the Presidents put on an excellent live show, and then watched the parade of drunk twentysomething ‘Softies stagger into the streets. It was a night that was legend - wait for it - airy!
As much as I liked both Debbie and Jason, we didn’t see them often. We had Carson a few months later. Debbie, in a move of pure one upmanship, had twins. We had Zoe. Debbie and Jason had another child.
Over the last few months, I kept on running into Jason at the gym. Every time, I spent a lot of time talking and laughing. I’d call him a “meat head” and he found it funny. As Jason stood with his brother and friends at the squat rack, I would make grunting noises. Loudly. Inappropriately loudly, but Jason would just laugh. Maybe you had to be there, but it cracked both of us up.
Now, as we are about to move to Australia, I have seen more of Debbie and Jason in the last week than I have in the previous three years combined. It saddens me that we did not spend enough time with a great couple, but I’ll take what time I can get. I do have to thank Debbie and Jason for inviting us to an incredible birthday party filled with fun and laughter.
Unfortunately, Zoe was sick, so only Carson and I were able to attend. The children all welcomed Carson right in and the adults were having a great time as well. My last memory of hanging with Jason will be when we; two grown men, both over 6’4” and 250 pounds, challenged each other to a race in a bounce-house obstacle course. I am impressed that the obstacle course was able to withstand the damage we threw at it. It was an epic race where I narrowly bested my worthy opponent only to be defeated by Jason’s brother, Kyle.
Jason and Debbie, I will miss you. You were great “couples friends”. I look forward to meeting a couple almost as awesome as you guys in Australia.
Then you get married... Think of all the people that you don’t like in the world. Now imagine you meet someone that you do like, but they are joined in a covenant with someone that you now also must like and your spouse must like both of them as well. It went from two people being compatible and capable of hanging out to having four people all having to like each other. Since I only like a small fraction of the population, it gets very hard for me to get along with two people who seem randomly assigned to each other.
In our years together, there have been plenty of times when I like him and she didn’t like her. Or she liked her but I didn’t like him. Friendships fizzle out whenever this happens. On top of that, as semi-new parents, we have so much less free time we don’t meet as many people as we used to. The worst part of marriage is that finding “couple friends” is that it is exponentially more difficult than developing friendships when we were single.
This all brings me back to the Xbox Christmas Party of 2005. It was hands down the best corporate party I have ever been to. It was held at the Showbox in downtown Seattle and the entertainment featured DJ AM and the Presidents of the United States of America. The beer and liquor flowed copiously and girls in high heels and short dresses walked out and vomited in the streets one after the other. It was awesome.
Sometimes these parties can suck as I get stuck trying desperately to make small talk with someone I don’t know, like, or will never see again. I am the fish out of water and Julie does her best to include me, but she’s surrounded by people she knows. I do my best not to be offensive and hope for it to end. Not this time though... Julie’s work friend, Debbie, had just joined the company. I was enjoying myself when I met her husband, Jason. Jason is a giant of a man who makes me look petite. He has a pure joy that emanates from him and within seconds of meeting him, I knew that I liked him in a very heterosexual and bromantic sort of way.
We were standing at the bar and it was like we underwent a Vulcan mind meld. As we were both about to order a beverage, our eyes simultaneously scanned the liquor selection on display. We both locked in on a bottle of Patron and said (so the legend goes), “Patron margaritas!” at exactly the same time. I had two or twenty, listened to the Presidents put on an excellent live show, and then watched the parade of drunk twentysomething ‘Softies stagger into the streets. It was a night that was legend - wait for it - airy!
As much as I liked both Debbie and Jason, we didn’t see them often. We had Carson a few months later. Debbie, in a move of pure one upmanship, had twins. We had Zoe. Debbie and Jason had another child.
Over the last few months, I kept on running into Jason at the gym. Every time, I spent a lot of time talking and laughing. I’d call him a “meat head” and he found it funny. As Jason stood with his brother and friends at the squat rack, I would make grunting noises. Loudly. Inappropriately loudly, but Jason would just laugh. Maybe you had to be there, but it cracked both of us up.
Now, as we are about to move to Australia, I have seen more of Debbie and Jason in the last week than I have in the previous three years combined. It saddens me that we did not spend enough time with a great couple, but I’ll take what time I can get. I do have to thank Debbie and Jason for inviting us to an incredible birthday party filled with fun and laughter.
Unfortunately, Zoe was sick, so only Carson and I were able to attend. The children all welcomed Carson right in and the adults were having a great time as well. My last memory of hanging with Jason will be when we; two grown men, both over 6’4” and 250 pounds, challenged each other to a race in a bounce-house obstacle course. I am impressed that the obstacle course was able to withstand the damage we threw at it. It was an epic race where I narrowly bested my worthy opponent only to be defeated by Jason’s brother, Kyle.
Jason and Debbie, I will miss you. You were great “couples friends”. I look forward to meeting a couple almost as awesome as you guys in Australia.
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