Be Honest

I have been vocal and unwavering in my view that the NRA’s vision of a call to arms by all civilians is short-sighted, dangerous, and stupid. I fear a dystopia of ordinary citizens convinced of their righteousness, armed, and ready to hand out the death sentence to anyone who contradicts them. I fear this threat far more than some vague threat of “the criminals” or mass murderers (who the NRA ironically and truthfully points out are very rare). Below I will pull together a very real profile of a gun owner. This profile has not been exaggerated in any way. Regardless of your view of gun ownership, I ask you to be honest and answer the question, do you want this person to own a gun? The person in this profile will be referred to as the Future George Zimmerman or FGZ named after the armed vigilante who took a young man’s life as a part of a neighborhood watch after being repeatedly told by law enforcement to not interfere.

Persecution Complex
The FGZ has a persecution complex. Through no fault of his own, he was raised in a physically abusive family environment. As an adult, he has been the victim of violence having been severely beaten twice (outside the United States). Even worse, he is preoccupied with these incidents and seems to relive the trauma on a frequent basis.

Think for a moment of how we portray ourselves in our profile pictures in social media. Some people chose not to feature themselves, but instead use pictures of their children or beloved pets to represent themselves online. I have done this. Others use pictures of themselves, but it is usually their most flattering picture. Again, I am guilty. For a very long period of time, my FaceBook picture was a picture taken before I had children. I was leaner, more muscular, more relaxed, more tan, and flat out better looking.

In real life, the FGZ is below average height, thin, and wears thick Coke-bottle glasses. No one would be intimidated by the FGZ. However, on FaceBook he has chosen to make his public facing persona an avatar that only bears a passing resemblance to the real FGZ. The avatar looks like the FGZ took steroids after gaining 30-40 pounds of lean muscle. The avatar is more masculine, stronger, and more dangerous than the real FGZ. The avatar is prominently shown with a shotgun slung over his shoulder and a menacing grin.

The FGZ is obsessed with guns and has established a small arsenal for himself. He possesses not one handgun, but multiple along with a shotgun and an assault rifle. The FGZ looks for opportunities to tell people about his guns and has an unhealthy preoccupation with them. He speaks about guns more than I mention my family, poker, the Australian housing bubble, and sports combined. When mentioning the incidents in which he was physically beaten in the past, he pauses and mentions that had he been armed, his abusers would be dead.

His guns have become his security blanket and a significant part of his very identity. The FGZ does not leave his house without at least one gun unless expressly prohibited by his employer. The FGZ has gone so far as to refuse to shop at Ikea. Ordinarily, I would be sympathetic of someone who does not want to travel a long distance, put up with huge crowds, select merchandise that may or may not be available for actual purchase, and then spend hours assembling low quality furniture suitable only for college dorm rooms. However, the FGZ’s issue with Ikea is a change in their gun policy - no longer allowing concealed weapons in their stores. The FGZ cannot stomach the thought of being without his precious guns.

Missed Opportunities
I have witnessed firsthand moments when news of a gun massacre has reached the FGZ. Normal people usually express sympathy for the victims or even outrage against the shooter. The FGZ has never shown the ability to empathize or comprehend the feelings of others. He does, however, expresses remorse for not being there.

Any robbery or massacre is not a tragedy to the FGZ. It is a missed opportunity to right previous wrongs. In his mind, this is what he has prepared for. This is the chance to no longer be the victim, but to become the hero.

Violence in the workplace
Sadly, some people have to expect violence in the workplace. Those who chose to work in fields such as the military, law enforcement, security, or in corrections do so with the knowledge that they will encounter violent, unstable people. Workplace violence, sadly, is part of the job. The rest of us, however, have a right to a zero tolerance for workplace violence or even the threat of workplace violence.

The FGZ worked for several years at a big software company in Redmond, WA. The software company uses a controversial performance management system of stack ranking. For the years that the FGZ worked at the big software company, he was consistently ranked at the bottom of his peer group. His ratings were so low that he faced the decision of leaving on his own volition or being dismissed.

The FGZ’s peers and management never necessarily criticized the quality of his work. Instead, the focus of the criticism has always been his inability to collaborate, cooperate, or function within a team. The FGZ is a loner and frequently lashed out at any co-worker with a contradictory view. He was viewed as divisive and detrimental to a healthy team dynamic.

Of course, the gun fetish did not help. At the big software company, there is a culture of decorating one’s office. Most people bring in pictures of their families. Some hang numbers used in triathlons. Others bring in eccentric Star Wars lego toys or other kitsch items. The FGZ does not display pictures of his family or show any interest in anything other than guns. Used targets from shooting ranges adorned the walls of his office while he worked there.

The FGZ does comply with the company’s no firearms policy but it is of little solace to his co-workers. The FGZ is not shy about saying that in his car, parked off campus and only a few minutes walk away is a loaded weapon. At the many official and unofficial happy hours sponsored by the company, the FGZ is packing. He will say in the middle of the dispute, with a smile, “I’ll shoot you.” Given that he is either carrying a loaded weapon or just a few minutes away from one, this type of passive-aggressive bullying should be considered extremely dangerous - especially when coming from an individual who fails to show any effort to get along with his co-workers to the point that he is managed out of the company.

Alcohol
Some things go together like chocolate and peanut butter. Some things will not go together no matter how hard you try like oil and water. Some things that really shouldn’t go together mix rather easily like drinking and driving.

Over the last forty years, there has been a movement to curb drinking and driving. After the failure that was Prohibition, advanced societies have struggled with finding a middle ground for alcohol. While alcohol clearly dulls reflexes, impairs judgement, and is often times a contributing factor in domestic abuse; at the same time Prohibition failed, moderate alcohol consumption may have some health benefits, if done responsibly - alcohol can be used effectively to socialize and network, and no one really wants to say it but drinking can be... fun.

In trying to establish a difference between the person who goes out to a happy hour and consumes three drinks in two hours and drives home and the person who is a real threat to the public safety, we have focused on the Blood Alcohol Content of an individual. In Victoria, Australia, the legal limit as defined by the BAC is .05%. In the state of Washington, the legal limit is .08%. Is Victoria too stringent? Perhaps. Is Washington too lax? Perhaps. Regardless of the established limit, the important thing is that a limit has been established and enforced by each society.

Unfortunately, in the United States - with the most heavily armed population in the history of the world, there is no agreed upon limit that I am aware of where an individual must surrender his guns. Where we have established limits as defined by BAC for drinking and driving, I would like to see these limits be even stricter and carry even stiffer penalties than a DUI.

With the emphasis being placed not on a total ban such as Prohibition, but on sensible limits and responsibility, I hate the term functioning alcoholic. I prefer to focus on the word functioning and ignore the word alcoholic. Alcoholism is a serious and real problem. But where does having a drink end and a problem begin?

Ordinarily, the person who likes to have a drink but still goes to work without a problem and still spends time with their family does not have a problem. Labeling moderate drinkers as functional alcoholics seems to do a disservice to the notion of responsible drinking. This label seems like a Puritanical remnant belonging to the temperance movement. In fact, there is an entire advanced civilization of 500 million people across the Atlantic Ocean who typically like to come home from work and share a bottle of wine with their significant others. We do not call these people functional alcoholics. We call them “Europeans”.

Back to the FGZ, though. I loathe labeling this individual as a functional alcoholic. He does go to work. He does spend time with his family. Call him what you will, but he also has a minimum of three alcoholic beverages a day, often times alone. Sometimes, he has many, many more alcoholic drinks. When he drinks, he never surrenders his guns.

Extreme Law Enforcement
The FGZ is the kind of person that sets his cruise control to 1-2 miles per hour below the posted speed limit. He cannot stand the breaking of any rule or regulation nor will he tolerate minor violations of the law. Ordinarily, this is not a bad thing.

There was an outbreak of petty vandalism in the FGZ’s neighborhood. The FGZ proudly boasted to a roomful of shocked people that if his property were trespassed upon, he would shoot and kill those involved.

The FGZ has moved beyond a doctrine of self defense and has been aggressively looking for opportunities to enforce his style of justice. He is known to listen in on police scanners and has bought surveillance equipment to legally spy on his own neighbors.

Mental Illness
I am fortunate to have awesome parents. Unfortunately, through no fault of my or their down, I have a genetic predisposition to cancer. There are those who would fight tooth and nail to prevent this information from reaching insurance companies. The thought of me paying extra or being denied coverage because of who my parents are seems... unamerican.

While insurance companies may choose to see me as a cancer threat, my predisposition to this disease does not affect anyone outside of my family. I cannot let loose a cancer epidemic on the general population. Unfortunately, those with mental illness and firearms can cause great harm to their communities.

Ordinarily, I would say that someone’s family background should be ignored. Ordinarily, someone’s family is irrelevant when applying to a university, for a job, to buy a home. However, when an individual wants to carry a weapon or purchase an assault rifle, I think the family history becomes suddenly relevant and necessary.

Unfortunately, the FGZ has a family history of severe depression and has lost an immediate family member to suicide, ironically by gunshot. While by itself, not enough to be damning, it is just one more piece of a puzzle that should prevent someone who lacks empathy, the ability to cooperate, has a persecution complex, wants to right previous injustices, fetishizes guns, consumes at least three alcoholic beverages daily, and has expressed the willingness and even the desire to administer the death sentence for minor violations of the law from ever buying a gun.

Vested Interest
As the statute of limitations has long been exceeded, I hereby confess that I and a group of my friends (not naming names to protect the guilty) used to occasionally trespass. Growing up a skate rat in the late 80’s and early 90’s in Phoenix, we would find houses that became abandoned for one reason or another and skate their pools. My friends and I never graffitied or damaged the property in any way other than skating the pools. The only thing that was ever left behind was the occasional bucket to bail out the deep end and a broom used to clean up debris from the pool.

We did not kid ourselves, we knew what we were doing was illegal. We did it anyway. I can’t imagine what would have happened if the FGZ came across my former self. Although I stopped pool skating at the age of 17, had the FGZ been listening to a police scanner and heard a complaint about local skate punks in a house nearby; myself or one of my friends could easily have been killed.

Had the FGZ shown up and told us to leave, one of would have surely greeted him with a, “Fuck off, Grandpa!” and gone right back to skating. Of course, we would know that it was probably time to leave, so after insulting the FGZ, we would probably walk towards him to exit. At seventeen, even though I did not need to shave, I was 6’4” and nearly 200 pounds of solid muscle. My friends had also filled out to a point where outnumbered six to one, the FGZ could perceive us to be a threat. I have never been hit upside the head with a skateboard, but I could see how 30” of maple hardwood (my friends and I were smart enough to know the Powell Peralta decks of this era made of foam or “bonite” were crap and stopped riding them) could be considered a weapon. Armed only with skateboards and aggressive shitty, attitudes; all it would take for one of us to be murdered is one mistake. One bump or menacing glare at the FGZ who would be looking to become a hero, drunk off of multiple drinks and his own sense of power and worth, and an expressed willingness to kill over minor violations of the law and there would be death.

I don’t talk to my group of semi juvenile delinquents often. However, I am in some form of regular contact with all of them. I have attended some reunions and had a chance to see what became of this group. I would like to think that every boy in this group of hooligans is leading a life that has purpose. This group of boys now features men who have received PhD’s. Men who have started businesses. Men who hold jobs, pay taxes, and have families. Had we been caught, we were prepared to be grounded by our parents and face community service and probation. No one was prepared to face death at the hands of a dangerous vigilante. Our society is better off with this group of boys having lived to become men.

Let he is without sin...
I am positive that anyone who has read this far would not want the FGZ to have the license to carry a gun, let alone have a small arsenal. I now open myself to criticism... For those that know me and find me to have an aggressive, confrontational style - would you want me to have the license to carry a gun? I wouldn’t blame you if you said, “No!”

I find it hard to write about myself unless it is self-deprecating, but in fairness to my question above, I would like to point out that over a two year period encompassing four ratings periods as judged by dozens of officers in the United States Air Force, upperclassmen, and to a lesser extent my peers - I was rated in the top quintile of one of the most prestigious (grudgingly West Point and Annapolis would be the others) and competitive military institutions in our country. It would be fair to say that no one can really define what exactly our military ratings were but they were supposed to be a proxy for a cadet’s leadership and followership, duty to their classmates, and service to the Academy. The USAFA experience can aptly be called a pressure cooker of stress and unpredictability and I was still tapped for military honors for three out of four ratings periods.

So, if you answered no to my question of would you want me to have a gun - knowing that I am an expert marksman and shown general proficiency with weapons and have received exemplary marks for my performance in the military, who do you know that you actually want to have a gun? Be honest.

Go to FaceBook and take a look at the list of several hundred true friends, family members, schoolmates, co-workers, frenemies, and randoms that make up this list of people that we voluntarily share information and ideas with. Go ahead and look. I’ll wait.

Who among this list has the requisite skill with weapons, who is wise and just, who has the right temperament, who will not be corrupted by power, but still has the will to use a weapon of deadly force if absolutely necessary? What percentage of people on this list meet this criteria? 1%? 2%? Be honest.

I freely admit that I live in fear. Fear of the NRA’s call to arms of civilians. Fear of the FGZ handing out the death sentence to my son in a few years. Fear of stupid arguments or workplace disagreements escalating to shoot outs. I fear the 98% of the people that I know and actually like owning a gun. Be honest, is this vision of a society where everyone is armed a good idea?